Why don’t women have more confidence?   Male business executives ask this a lot, usually in connection with their reasons for not promoting women into upper management. Having observed women’s behavior (and mine!) over the last 20 years, I understand the frustration expressed by some men.

Have you walked down a grocery aisle and heard women shoppers say “excuse me,” “sorry,” and “pardon me”.   Women often say, “I am sorry but….” When asking a question or offering an opinion in a meeting. Although our world generally suffers from a manners’ deficit, these women don’t make me happy to hear them say they’re sorry.

Too many women are afraid of being disliked, acting inappropriately, or stepping over an unmarked line that will get them in trouble. In my opinion, this is because for centuries women have lacked personal, social, financial, and political power. In the past and maybe in the present, women don’t feel safe in offering an opinion, correcting someone else’s mistake or requesting action. A majority of women suffer from this “sorry-itis.”

One of the reasons TeamWomenMN exists is to expose women in a positive environment to other women who have broken through this power barrier. It may exist in you due to abuse, violence, control, neglect, or career frustrations in your life. You have been victimized and your fears are not irrational.

But this is not a happy or effective way to live. Nor is it a positive way for our daughters to live. If you cannot control your fears, thoughts, and actions from being impeded with “sorry-itis”, seek out another women or a counselor to help you. TeamWomen MN is rooting for you.


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